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By John Kalinger Posted in Humor — Comments (9) / Email this page » / Leave a comment »

Hi, I’m John Kalinger and I’m the Research Director at Committee for Justice where I work with another ConfirmThem blogger, Curt Levey. I’ve wanted to publish my first post here on ConfirmThem for a while, but I was waiting for the right moment/story/idea. Well, here it is:

The Hill reports that Broadway producer Jay Harris has purchased the rights to Linda Greenhouse’s 2005 book Becoming Justice Blackmun: Harry Blackmun's Supreme Court Journey “for adaptation as a stage play and possibly a motion picture.” (Hat tip: Ed Whelan) Mr. Harris also produced the musical comedy “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels” which somehow seems appropriate.

No, this is not a joke. At least, it’s not an intentional joke.
(More fun below!)

You may be asking yourself (among other things), “Where’s the drama in watching some old, white guy producing some of the worst opinions in the history of jurisprudence?” Well, the drama will apparently come from Blackmun’s tumultuous relationship with Chief Justice Warren Burger. Harris explains,

I thought the book was wonderful, and as I read it, I saw the extent of the relationship between Blackmun and Warren Burger. I started to envision a play and movie about the deterioration of their friendship, and what were, and still are, the principal issues that were before their Supreme Court, like abortion, affirmative action and states’ rights.

The passion! The intrigue! The legal briefs!

Mark Antony and Cleopatra! Romeo and Juliet! Ben Affleck and JLo! Blackmun and Burger!

I can just see the breathless reviews now: “Dahlia Lithwick of Slate.com says, ‘I laughed, I cried, I fell in love! It was better than Cats!’ ”

Mr. Whelan thinks that this is all “beyond-satire.” To that I say, “Nonsense!” This ridiculous foolishness deserves all the satire we can give it. So, here’s what your friends at Committee for Justice are going to do: We are going to have a little contest to see who can write the best song lyrics for Mr. Harris’s upcoming play and/or movie. I’m not sure who the judges will be, or how long we’ll keep the contest open (probably a week or so), but I do know the prize. Curt Levey, our Executive Director here at CFJ, has already agreed to pony up the cash for a brand-new copy of The Heritage Guide to the Constitution, a book which, if you don’t already own, you should run out and buy immediately. Unless, of course, you think you’ve got a really good idea for a song.

Please publish all entries in the comments section of appropriate blog posts on ConfirmThem.